Tuesday, March 25, 2014

Its a traffic jam !

Its a traffic jam .

A police officer knocked the door.
 
For what reason this traffic jam is for? Asked the driver.
 
Terrorist has kidnapped the Politicians. Police Officer replied.
 
They’re asking for 1,000 crores of Rupees as ransom. Otherwise, they’re going to ablaze them all in petrol and set them on fire. Due to which we’re going from car to car collecting donations.

“How much is everyone contributing, on average?” Driver asks.
 
Roughly two liters. The Police Officer replied.


Monday, March 24, 2014

3 Blondes !

The Blond Detective Exam 

A policeman was interrogating 3 blondes who were training to become detectives. To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the first blonde a picture for 5 second and then hides it.
"This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"

The first blonde answers, "That's easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!"


The policeman says, "Well...uh...that's because the picture shows his PROFILE."

Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second blonde and asks her, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"

The second blonde giggles, flips her hair and says, "Ha! He'd be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!"

The policeman angrily responds, "What's the matter with you two?? Of course only one eye and one ear are SHOWING because it's a picture of his profile!! Is that the best answer you can come up with?"

Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the third blonde and in a very testy voice asks, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"

He quickly adds "...think hard before giving me a stupid answer."

The blonde looks at the picture intently for a moment and says, "Hmmmm...the suspect wears contact lenses."

The policeman is surprised and speechless because he really doesn't know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not. "Well, that's an interesting answer...wait here for a few minutes while I check his file and I'll get back to you on that."

He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the suspect's file in his computer, and comes back with a beaming smile on his face. "Wow! I can't believe it...it's TRUE! The suspect does in fact wear contact lenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation?"

"That's easy," the blonde replied. "He can't wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear!

Friday, March 21, 2014

Life is like that !

1
"Seance For A Waiter"
Six months after the waiter died, his widow 
went to see a medium, who promised she 
would contact the dead man. 

During the seance, the widow was sure 
she saw her husband standing in the 
corner, dressed in his waiter's outfit.

"Arnold!" she cried. "Come closer and 
speak to me!" 

A hoarse voice from the corner wailed, 
"I can't. It's not my table."

2
"Air Conditioner"
A customer was continually bothering the waiter 
in a restaurant; first, he'd asked that the air 
conditioning be turned  up because he was too 
hot, then he asked it be turned down because 
he was too cold, and so on for about half an hour.

Surprisingly, the waiter was very patient, he 
walked back and forth and never once got 
angry. So finally, a second customer asked 
him why he didn't throw out the pest.

"Oh I don't care." said the waiter with a smile.  
"We don't even have an air conditioner."