Be a millionarie

Two cops were at a far away police station and while they were resting there, a man comes to them and says “The terrorist killed my child and wife. I would give 50 lakhs to the person who may cut the terrorist head and give it to me.”

The two cops hear this and they go for the terrorist head. Soon they find a terrorist and they start to cut his head.

But as they are cutting his head 50 terrorists come there with guns and look angrily at the cops. But the cops start dancing and say:

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“WE ARE GOING TO BE MILLIONAIRES!!!!!!!!!”

Catching Fish is Illegal !

A redneck was stopped by a game warden just north of Kentucky’s Lake Cumberland recently with two ice chests of fish.

The game warden asked the man, "Do you have a license to catch those fish?"

"Naw, my friend, I ain't got no license. These are my pet fish."

"Pet fish?"

"Yep. Every night I take these fish down to the lake and let 'em swim 'round for a while. Then I whistle and they jump right back into this ice chest and I take 'em home."

"That's a bunch of hooey! Fish can't do that!"

The redneck looked at the game warden for a moment and then said,"It's the truth. I'll show you. It really works."

"Okay, I've got to see this!"

The redneck poured the fish into the river and stood and waited. After several minutes, the game warden turned to him and said, "Well?"

"Well, what?" said the redneck.

"When are you going to call them back?"

"Call who back?"

"The FISH!"

"What fish?"

Students !!


1

Announcement in University:

"The students who have parked their cars on the driveway, please move them"

Another announcement after 20 minutes:

"The 200 students who went to move 9 cars please return to their respective classes" 

2

1 stone is enough to break a glass. 
1 sentence is enough to break a heart. 
1 sec is enough to fall in love.

But why the hell 1chapter is not enough to pass in exam...??? 


3

Why AMBULANCE is WHITE in color?

 

Kisi professor ne ek student se pooch liya :

Why AMBULANCE is WHITE in color?

Student ka jawaab :

AMBULANCE has OXYGEN cylinder, Oxygen is a gas,

GAS is used 4 cooking FOOD; FOOD is source of VITAMINS,

We get Vitamin-D from SUN,

SUN produces LIGHT,

LIGHT comes from bulbs,

Small BULBS are used 2 decorate CHRISTMAS tree,

CHRISTMAS means GIFTS,


GIFTS r given by SANTA,

SANTA lives in NORTH POLE,

NORTH POLE is the house of POLAR BEARS,

POLAR BEARS r WHITE..

That's Y ambulance is WHITE... 

moral: students se panga mat lena

Piece of mind !

Oh Gosh," sighed the wife one morning, "I'm convinced my mind is almost completely gone!"

Her husband looked up from the newspaper and commented,

"I'm not surprised: You've been giving me a piece of it every day for twenty years!"

I want a job !

 A little boy went to a Telephone booth which was at the cash counter of a shop & dialed a number. The Shop owner listened to the conversation: 
Boy: "Madam, Can you give me the job of cutting your lawn?

Voice at other end (VOE): "I already have someone to cut my lawn."

Boy: "Madam, I will cut your lawn for half the salary you pay to the person who cuts your lawn now.”

VOE: “I'm very satisfied with the person who is presently cutting my lawn.

Boy: (persistently) "Madam, I'll even sweep the floor & the stairs of your house for free.” 

VOE: “No, thank you.”

With a smile on his face, the boy ended the call with a “thank you”. 

The shop owner, who was listening to all this called the boy and told :
 "Son...I like your attitude; I  would like to offer you a job."

 Boy: "No sir, thanks”

Shop owner: “But you were really pleading for a job”

Boy: No Sir, I was just checking my performance at the job I already have. 
I am the one who is working for that lady I was talking to!" 

Pakistani Jokes

Pakistani jokes




1   A big Sardar walked into a bar with his pet tiger on a
leash and asked the bartender, "Do you serve Pakistanis here?".
"Sure we do," replied the bartender. "Good," said the Sardar. "Give me a beer, and one Pakistani for my tiger."


2

”Have you ever seen Pakistani war heroes ?”

 

“No, I haven’t”

”Nor has Pakistan.”


3

"How do you stop a Pakistani tank ?"
"Shoot the men who are pushing it."


4
A man standing in a long line for food tells the others in the line
that he is leaving the line to go to shoot the president. He returns after a few hours and rejoins the line.
Did you manage to kill him ?", everyone asks him.
No, that line is longer than this one, he replies.

5
 Postmaster General announcing " To commemorate the ascension of Zardari to the Presidency, Pakistan Post has officially launched a new stamp with his image. But the people of Pakistan are confused which side on the stamp to spit on."


6
Pakistan just got their new Chineses fighter planes and sent a squadron of pilots to China  for training.
"Ok, this one is easy to fly", said the Chinese trainer, "Even you fools should be able to operate it! You press this button to go up, this one to go left and this one for turning right!"
"But how do we come down?" asked Capt. Arfath Pasha.
"Oh," said the Chinese "leave that to the India"

Pakistani Jokes

PAKISTANI JOKES

A Russian, a Cuban, an Britisher and a Pakistani are in a train. The Russian takes a bottle of the Best Vodka out of his pack, pours some into a glass, drinks it, and says: "In USSR, we have the best vodka of the world, nowhere in the world you can find Vodka as good as the one we produce in Ukrainia. And we have so much of it, that we can just throw it
away..." Saying that, he open the window and throw the rest of the bottle thru it. All the others are quite impressed. 

The Cuban takes a pack of Havanas, takes one of them, lights it and begins to smoke it saying: "In Cuba, we have most of the cigars of the world: Havana, nowhere in the world there is so many cigars and we have so much of them, that we can just throw them away...". Saying that, he throws the pack of havanas thru the window. One more time, everybody is quite impressed. 

At this time, the Britisher just stands up, opens the window, and throws the Pakistani through it... 

Superb answers

Answers of a Brilliant student who obtained 0%

Q. In which battle did Tipu Sultan die?
A. His last battle.

Q. Where was the Declaration of Independance signed?
A. At the Bottom of the Page.
...
Q. Ganga flows in which state?
A. Liquid.

Q. Whats the main reason for Divorce?
A. Marriage.

Q. Whats the main reason for Failure?
A. Examinations...

Did the student Answer Anything Wrong.

Then why was he given 0%.

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