The fastest thing on earth !

An Office Manager at Wal-Mart was given the task of hiring an individual to fill a job opening.

After sorting through a stack of resumes he found four people who were equally qualified -- an American, a Russian, an Australian and a Gujarati from India.

He decided to call the four in and ask them only one question.  Their answer would determine which of them would get the job.
The day came and as the four sat around the conference room table the interviewer asked, "What is the fastest thing you know?"

Dave, the American, replied, "ATHOUGHT.  It just pops into your head.  There's no warning that it's on the way; it's just there.  A thought is the fastest thing I know of." 

"That's very good!" replied the interviewer.

"And now you sir?" he asked Vladimir, the Russian.  
"Hmm.... let me see.  A blink!  It comes and goes and you don't know that it ever happened.  A BLINK is the fastest thing I know."

"Excellent!" said the interviewer.  "The blink of  an eye, that's a very popular cliché for speed."

 

He then turned to George, the Australian who was contemplating his reply.

"Well, out at my dad's ranch, you step out of the house and on the wall there's a light switch.  When you flip that switch, way out across the pasture the light in the barn comes on.  Yep, Turning on a LIGHT is the fastest thing I can think of." 

 

The  interviewer was very impressed with the third answer and thought he had found his man. "It's hard to beat the speed of light" he said.

Turning to Patel, the Guy from India, the fourth and final man, the interviewer posed the same question. Patel replied, "Apter herring da 3 prebius ansers sir, et's obius to me dat the fastest thing isDIARRHEA." 
"WHAT!?" said the interviewer, stunned by the response. The others were  already giggling in their seats...

 

"Oh, I can expleyn sir," said Patel.  

"You see, sir, da ader day my tummy was pheeling bad and so I run so fast to the baatrum,, but before I could THINK,BLINK, orTURN ON THE LIGHT, I alredi done it !"

Patel is now the new "Greeter" at Wal-Mart

 

Gandhi's Son

Vijayakanth - Do you know the name of Gandhiji's son.
Rajini - No.
Vijayakanth - What Rajini. It is Dinesan.
Rajini - Really? I didn't know.
Vijayakanth - You have to improve your general knowledge Rajini. Did you not hear from your school teacher that Gandhi is the father of Dinesan.

Rajini murmurs to himself - He needs to improve his English. The teacher probably meant 'The Nation'

Make more money?

EOD task!

Successful Business model

Five surgeons

Five surgeons

Five surgeons from big cities are discussing who makes the best patients to operate on.

The first surgeon, from New York , says, "I like to see accountants on my operating table because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered."

The second, from Chicago , responds, "Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is color coded."

   

The third surgeon, from Dallas , says, "No, I really think librarians are the best, everything inside them is in alphabetical order"

 The fourth surgeon, from Los Angeles chimes in: "You know, I like construction workers...Those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over."

  But the fifth surgeon, from Washington , DC shut them all up when he Observed: "You're all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on.

There's no guts, no heart, no brains and no spine

3 Kick Rule.

3 Kick Rule

A big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural North Cowra . He shot and 
dropped a bird, but it fell int o a farmer's field on the other side of a 
fence. 
  
As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his 
tractor and asked him what he was doing. The litigator responded, "I shot a 
duck and it fell in this field, and now I'm going to retrieve it." 
  
The old farmer replied, "This is my property, and you are not coming 
over here." 
  
The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial lawyers in Australia 
and, if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything you 
own." 
  
The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we settle 
disputes in North Cowra . We settle small disagreements like this with the 
'Three Kick Rule.' 
  
The lawyer asked, "What is the 'Three Kick Rule'?" 
  
The Farmer replied, "Well, because the dispute occurs on my land, I get to 
go first. I kick you three times and then you kick me three times and so on 
back and forth until someone gives up." 
  
The lawyer quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he 
could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom. 
  
The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the 
attorney. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel-toed work boot 
into the lawyer's ankle and dropped him to his knees! 
His second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer's last meal gushing from his 
mouth. The lawyer was on all fours when the farmer's third kick to his rear 
end, sent him face-first into a fresh cow pie. 
  
Summoning every bit of his will and remaining strength the lawyer very 
slowly managed to get to his feet. Wiping his face with the arm of his 
jacket, he said, "Okay, Now it's my turn." 
  
(I love this part) 
  
The old farmer smiled and said, "Nah, I give up. You can have the duck." 
  
When you are educated, you'll believe only half of what you hear. 
  
When you're intelligent, you know which half.

Enjoy Sunday !

Husband : Today is Sunday & I have to enjoy it. So I bought 3 movie tickets. 
Wife    : Why Three? 
Husband : For you and your parents