This dog !

An avid duck hunter was in the market for a new bird dog. His search ended when he found a dog that could actually walk on water to retrieve a duck. Shocked by his find, he was sure none of his friends would ever believe him.

He decided to try to break the news to a friend of his, a pessimist by nature, and invited him to hunt with him and his new dog.

As they waited by the shore, a flock of ducks flew by.

They fired, and a duck fell.

The dog responded and jumped into the water.

The dog, however, did not sink but instead walked across the water to retrieve the bird, never getting more than his paws wet.

The friend saw everything but did not say a single word.

On the drive home the hunter asked his friend, "Did you notice anything unusual about my new dog?" "I sure did," responded his friend." He can't swim.

The phone rings !

The phone rings !

Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cellular phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.

MAN: "Hello"

WOMAN: "Hi Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"

MAN: "Yes."

WOMAN: "I'm at the shops now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $2,000; is it OK if I buy it?"

MAN: "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much."

WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Lexus dealership and saw the new models. I saw one I really liked."

MAN: "How much?"

WOMAN: "$90,000." ;

MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."

WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing... I was just talking to Janie and found out that the house I wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking $980,000 for it."

MAN: "Well, then go ahead and make an offer of $900,000. They'll probably take it. If not, we can go the extra eighty-thousand if it's what you really want."

WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you so much!"

MAN: "Bye! I love you, too."

The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are staring at him in astonishment, mouths wide open.

Then he smiles and asks, "Anyone know whose mobile this is?"

The Absent employee !

The boss  wondered why one of his most valued employees was absent but had not phoned in  sick one day. Needing to have an urgent problem with one of the main computers resolved, he dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a  child's whisper. ' Hello ? '

'Is  your  daddy home?' he asked.

' Yes ,'  whispered the small voice.

May I talk  with him?'

The child  whispered, ' No .'

Surprised  and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, 'Is your Mummy there?' ' Yes '

'May I talk  with her?' Again the small voice whispered, ' No '

Hoping there  was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the Boss asked, 'Is anybody  else there?'

' Yes , '  whispered the child, ' a policeman . '

Wondering  what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the Boss asked, 'May I speak  with the policeman?'

' No, he's  busy , ' whispered the child.

'Busy doing  what?'

' Talking to Daddy and Mummy and the Fireman , ' came the whispered answer.

Growing more  worried as he heard a loud noise in the background through the ear piece on the  phone, the boss asked, 'What is that noise?'

' A  helicopter ' answered the whispering voice.

'What is  going on there?' demanded the boss, now truly apprehensive. Again, whispering,  the child answered, ' The search team just landed a helicopter’

Alarmed,  concerned and a little frustrated the boss asked, 'What are they searching  for?'

Still  whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle...

ME !