How to break bad news?

The husband is on a weeklong business trip and gets a call from his wife,
...

"Hello, sweetheart!"
"Ah yes, darling, I'm busy. Is there a problem?"

"Um, I just called to tell you that the parrot died"
"My parrot? Dead ? The one that won the competition?"
"That's the one."
"Dammed! That's pity! I spent a small fortune on that bird. Oh,well...How he died? "
"From eating rotten meat."

"Rotten meat? Where did he get rotten meat?"
" He ate the meat of one of the dead horses."
"Dead horses? What dead horses?"
"Why, those pure breed ones that you had. They died from all that work pulling the water cart."

"Are you insane? What water cart?"
"The one we used to put out the fire."
"Good Lord! What fire are you talking about, woman?"
"The one at our house! A candle fell and then the curtain caught on fire."

"What the...!!! But there's electricity at the house! What was the candle for ???"
"For the funeral."
"WHAT BLOODY FUNERAL ?!!"
"Your mother's! She showed up one night out of the blue and I thought she was a thief, so I shot her!”